You’ve heard the cliches… “The BRIDE knows best.” “It’s HER big day.”
But isn’t that a little outdated? Besides the fact that there may be no bride or two brides in your wedding plans, haven’t we come far enough to learn that marriage is about partnership? Why not start that partnership by creating a day that’s important to BOTH of you and encompasses BOTH of your likes and styles?
I read an article today about the 11 Things ONLY the bride can decide (click here to read it). I understand where the article is coming from. At first I was a little offended (really…ONLY the bride can pick the cake flavor or items on the registry?). Ok, the bride should be able to pick her dress – that sounds about right. And perhaps the bridal party. Except…maybe not. What if her significant other has a sister that should be considered? Then is it ok to involve the groom’s opinion?
I realized while reading that article, that if I substituted “bride” for “the happy couple,” I liked the sentiment of it a lot more. I chose to think about it as the couple ultimately making these decisions, not the mother-of-the-bride, the wedding planner, the Maid of honor or anyone else who aren’t the two people tying the knot. And it makes a lot of sense. If you act on everyone else’s ideas, you’re going to drive you and your spouse-to-be crazy.
I know what some of you are thinking – “my fiancé isn’t interested in the wedding planning, why should I force him to participate?” You shouldn’t. But if he’s genuinely uninterested in the planning, you should at least try to think about what he may like and what would make the day particularly special for him. And maybe you should ask (nicely of course) why he doesn’t want to be involved. Maybe he honestly just wants to you have your perfect vision of a dream wedding and at the end of the day doesn’t care about decorations and cake flavors – just that he’ll be married to you. Or maybe the thought of helping pick floral arrangements makes him break out in hives. And that’s ok too. But give him the chance to be involved – that’s all I’m saying. :)